Going faster...

So, my darling dearest boy has offered the observation that I may be the only rider on the planet who doesn't want to go faster.  When I started riding, I had an irrational fear that going fast was going to fling me from my motorcycle, a fear that has mostly passed.  Yet, I still have trouble keeping up with traffic.  I was riding home from work last night, and found that once the needle hit 70, I started to worry about getting pulled over.  While I'm mostly over the fear part of going fast, I have anxiety about getting a ticket.  Yet, going slightly faster than traffic is the safest way to ride.  This creates an internal conflict that has yet to be resolved. 

This is where being a therapist comes in handy.  I borrow a couple of Cognitive Behavioral skills that I try to teach my clients.  First, I take comfort that on my second day of riding, when my darling boy was following me, he wondered if I had a top speed of 17 mph. Because I couldn't seem to go faster than 17mph.  Which on a motorcycle, on city streets, is slow.  Slower than the posted speed limit.  And certainly slower than any car wants to go.  If I can learn to go more than 17mph, I can figure out this internal conflict that seems to exist between safe riding and posted speed limits.  Second, I remind myself that my actual speed is actually slower than my speedometer says.  This helps me combat the part of my brain that reads and follows rules without thinking about them.  There are pros and cons to being a rule follower, and this is one of the cons.  My third strategy is to remind myself that going any slower than traffic is dangerous.  Cars are bigger, heavier, and quite oblivious to my presence.  My strengths on a motorcycle are being nimble and quick.  I need to utilize my advantages to overcome my disadvantages.

Reflecting on these lessons, I realize they are great life lessons.  We are all in a process of growth, and when we get frustrated with where we are today, we can look back and see the changes we have made.  Rules exist for a reason, but so does our capacity to reason.  It's important that we always approach rules with a skeptical mind, to understand and integrate them into our value system thoughtfully.  And we all have strengths and weaknesses.  As we accept our weaknesses, we can work on improving those, as well as playing to our strengths.  This self acceptance will lead to an overall happier life.