The entire day was amazing. I got to share it with my darling fiancee, who is a long experienced rider. That in itself made it special. Our instructor, Martin, was phenomenal. He's been teaching this class for forever, and knows when to wig out and when to chill. He was funny, and from Texas. Or at least that was his most recent move. He hasn't owned a car since 2001, but our weather is making him think about getting a truck. Anyway... We had a second helping instructor for the afternoon, a rather militaristic dude named Rolf. He seemed very into the rules and such. Both of these guys were patient, kind, and full of helpful feedback. Things like keep your head up and look through the turn, and press your chin toward your wrist to really get a good position through the curve. No more covering the front break and clutch all the time, just in stop and go traffic.
The funny thing was, Rolf and Martin would give me all these great tips, but both had one common thread throughout the day. Relax. Rolf would tell me things to fix, and then ask what the most important was, and I could remember all the things he said, except relax. Relaxing is the furthest thing from my mind when I am on a motorcycle. I grew up thinking it looked cool and fun, and imagining it would be easy, like driving a car. But the reality is, your brain needs to be 'on' all the time. And I like to over prepare, so I fall into the unheard of category of "too defensive." I haven't developed comfort scanning my environment and doing the legal "California Stop" on my motorcycle (I did do one last night!) because I have to put my foot down to stop and really see what all is going on before I can decide if it is safe to go. I try to stay away from all cars on the highway, which is actually impossible; much more important to stay seen and stay out of their blind spots. I slow down when I feel unsure what the road will do next, even if logic dictates the predictability of the freeway, because my "what if" brain overrides my logic.
Riding a motorcycle well seems to be about relaxing and having confidence that you can handle what comes up. Have fun, practice swerving and quick stops so that when there is a road emergency, your reflexes are at their finest, and you aren't over-analyzing everything and paralyzed into non reaction. While keeping your brain in the "on" position, and never being lulled into a false sense of safety. Because you are out there, responsible completely for your well being, with no cage to protect you. It's about knowing what you can control, and capitalizing on the strengths of the motorcycle, rather than focusing on what you lack and how at risk you are. And knowing that the joy and fun bring some risk, and being ok with the level of risk you accept by choosing to ride a motorcycle.
These are life lessons too; we cannot control the actions of other people, humans are happiest when they are adaptable and open to change. The more we worry, the less we see what is actually around us. We shouldn't be lulled into a false sense of safety, but worrying about things that haven't yet gone wrong or are outside of our control is counter productive. The more I ride a motorcycle, the more I see my values and personality as a strength as a rider. If I could just enact my natural way of being while riding, how much better I would ride!
But learning to ride a motorcycle is also a education in self acceptance. I have a slow, stair step process of having an experience, processing it, and building knowledge for the future. Confidence comes from experience, but experience comes from confidence. So I slowly take my baby steps toward riding well, and with each of these baby steps, I relax a little more. I mean really, I've come a long way from the girl that may have had a top speed of 17 mph!
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