I am a motorcyclist...

I had a strange realization the other day; due to extraneous circumstances, I drove my car to work.  As I left the building for the day, without my helmet and gear, I did not feel like my "self."  Nathan has talked before about riding as becoming part of identity.  I haven't disagreed, but I haven't felt like a motorcyclist in the past.  I've felt like a dirt biker, but to me that's like someone who works a day job and plays in a band or climbs rocks on the weekend.  Somehow, riding two wheels every single days has started to transform my identity. 

Which got me thinking about Erickson's Stages of Identity Development, and how it relates to rider identity development.

Trust vs. Mistrust
When I am on a motorcycle, I have to trust myself.  There's no one to blame for my mistakes.  I take full responsibility for the risk I am undertaking.  As a child, this identity crisis is parent dependent.  As a motorcyclist, it is self-concept dependent.

Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
As a new rider, it was hard to set out by myself.  I'd come home and "confess" all my mistakes of the day.  There were times I doubted I could become a competent, safe rider.  But I pushed myself.  It was a bit like cutting the umbilical cord.  I had to make my own mistakes, recover from them and learn from them to learn to ride.  I had to learn to act, and not let my self-doubt inhibit my learning.

Initiative vs. Guilt
The first time I dropped my bike, I felt like I was going to be in trouble.  With who, I don't know, but Nathan was the nearest human.  The fallout from this mistake was that we had to make repairs, and I couldn't ride until my bike was fixed.  While this was a bummer, it was a great lesson to me that I can take risks, and deal with the consequences.  It continued to build my trust and autonomy.

Industry vs. Inferiority
When I feel inferior, I hesitate about riding.  This keeps me from doing the very thing I need to do to improve.  Industry is all about doing.  I have learned that outside of occasional VERY bad weather, nothing need keep me off my bike.

Identity vs. Role Confusion
Ah, the motorcycling teen years.  "I waved to another rider, but I feel like a fraud.  I don't feel like a real motorcyclist."  Here I was, riding every day, but I saw my weaknesses and my mistakes, and thought that kept me from being a real rider.  Something shifted inside of me.  I pushed myself to do what scared me, gained some skills, learned to risk.  And suddenly I found myself.  A motorcyclist.

Generativity vs. Stagnation
This is my current lesson, though in my view, the others are never mastered, simply practiced.  I don't want any of my skills to plateau.  It can happen to anyone.  We get comfortable, we think we've "got it".  But the trick to staying safe is always pushing to improve.  If we practice panic swerves hundreds of times, that debris that falls of the truck will instinctually be avoided.  If we practice our panic stops, we have our best chance of not hitting a deer that jumps out. 

Ego Integrity vs. Despair
This is a stage beyond me.  A stage where one looks back and reflects on "was it ok to be me?" Or in this analogy "Did I like the motorcyclist I became?"  It is my hope that with continued focus on my development, that I can face this stage with courage, confidence, and peace.

Dynojet...

So, the Ninja 250 has an issue.  I think the folks at Kawasaki were super excited to see just how great of gas mileage they could get from the little bike, so they jetted it extraordinarily lean.  While it's great to get 50-70 mpg, it's not so great to warm up your bike for a minimum of 10 minutes, ride with the choke on for 15, and then still not be sure that when you roll on the gas if your bike is going to go or sputter.  Nathan did some research (I suppose this entry could also fall under Nathan is always right) and found that there are a couple of options for this issue.  You could add washers and change out the jets individually.  This is an inexpensive, but experimental fix.  The primers online talk about testing it, and then adjusting it.  Now, if you've ever tried to work on a Ninja 250's carburetor, you'll know that it's in the heart of the bike, buried beneath all the fairings, with a miniscule amount of space between it and the airbox under the gas tank, etc etc... It requires a lot to change, test, change test.  Another suggested option is to take the bike to a professional with a Dyno and an electronic gas analyzer.  The third option is to read.  A lot.  And buy a jet kit, and follow their recommendations.  Nathan reviewed these options, offered his services, and I bought a Dynojet Jet Kit.  Nathan and I eagerly watched the mail, awaiting this magical box.  And then it did.  And the tinkering began. The bike came apart, and the carburetor's came off.  Jet's were installed, needles were raised, and then the putting back together process began.  Vacuum hoses were reversed, the engine was hydro locked, and the carburetors came off again!   Amazingly, everything went back together, and Nathan took it for a test ride.  He said it felt fine, you know, like a normal bike.  So, the real test was what did I think. 


So I rode.  And was amazed... When I rolled on the gas, the bike went.  Smoothly, evenly!  I didn't have to worry at stop signs that I was going to make it just into the lane of traffic before the bike bogged and maybe even died.  (Yup, that has happened.)  And it just plain felt more fun!  Plus two horsepower may not sound like much, but evening out the horsepower in the lower RPM's so it's not "nothing nothing nothing, hit 7000 and here's all your power" just makes riding epic! 


So, Nathan did a great job, and he likes to be reminded every few days that he is the best husband-to-be in the world.  He thinks it's because he put a lot of time and energy into the bike.  And it is.  But it's really because Nathan is always right. :)