On our most recent trip, I got to take my xt 225. It's a long story as to why, but the awesome part is that it is a little, light bike that is MAGNIFICENT off road! However, for someone who has an inferiority complex around speed, riding 4000 miles (only 1000 off road) on a 225, with someone riding a 650, was.... triggering.
The first time this got me into trouble was on a freeway in Nevada.
Oh yeah, disclaimer, if you worry about my safety, do not read this blog post. Yes, this means you, Mom. ;-)
In Nevada, the freeway speed limits were 80/85 I believe. Faster than the xt was capable of going. But, there were these huge uphills... followed by these LONG downhills. On a downhill, the bike was going faster, and faster, and faster... I think we got up over 80.... and then it started to wobble. My normal strategy to correct a wobble is to roll off the gas, and then back on. This seems to transfer the weight and control back to the rear tire and straightens the bike right up. Well, on this very long downhill, the bike was going faster than the engine, so rolling off the throttle did nothing. In a speed wobble, the brakes will land you on the ground pretty quick (again, by my understanding) so the only option is to breathe, and ride it out.... Usually, a wobble is about 10 seconds long.... This one was at least 30. 30 of the LONGEST seconds of my life. And probably Nathan's, as he watched from behind, slowing down so he wouldn't be riding over me if I hit the ground. (my interpretation.) After an eternity, the bike stopped wobbling, I slowed down, took the next exit into a gas station, and then let the feelings come. Lesson learned... never ride faster than the engine can propel me. Got it. Speed demon in check. For the moment....
Then, outside of Bryce Canyon, we were riding easy off road. SUPER fun. Nathan was riding at a relaxed rate on a KLR, so I was, on my little light bike, actually almost keeping up with him, sometimes. (You can tell what a big deal this is to me.) I came around a corner, and there was a beautiful view. I stopped, and snapped a quick picture. Then I remembered about keeping up with Nathan, and got back on the gas. I was cruising along, looking toward my next corner, paying no attention to the tree shadow I was entering... which unfortunately had some substantial windfall on the ground. WHAM! 20 miles an hour upright to zero miles an hour on my right side. Everything hurt. I tried reaching Nathan, then tried honking my horn, but he was too far away. I knew if I waited he'd come back, but.... Well, I'm a little stubborn. My entire right side aching, I hauled my bike up and climbed back on. Apparently intact, I (much more slowly) made my way down the hill. I was still determined to make it to the part of the ride we'd set out for, and we did, but it was a slower, more painful journey than if I'd just been a little more... me. Careful, cautious, skilled.
My last moment, the moment that led to big changes in my motorcycle life, was on a hilly road in Idaho. Nathan passed a semi. I wanted to pass the semi. I waited until it was clear, and entered the lane of oncoming traffic. It was downhill... The semi picked up speed. I picked up speed. I was wide open throttle, past the midpoint of the semi, when I realized the truck I'd seen way off in the distance was WAY bigger than a small speck in the distance. As a matter of fact, it was becoming quickly clear that I was not going to get in front of the semi before the truck was going to need the lane I was in. The semi was not slowing down, but I was only gaining on it in inches.... I was about to the cab when I moved onto the yellow dotted line down the middle of the road. Still wide open throttle, I held by breath as the truck flew past me going the other direction. I was still inching forward, and the semi must have tapped the brakes, because I was FINALLY able to get in front of the truck.
Overcoming my fears and anxieties has led to a decrease in my caution. I'm by no means reckless; this decrease in anxiety, and even caution, has actually been incredibly helpful in multiple situations. Actually, even though it led to all of the situations above, my ability to manage this motorcycle anxiety also helped me to cope with these situations as they were happening. Except for the off road one... That one was way too quick to manage anything. But in both the street situations, I got myself in over my head trying to keep up/go faster/ not be the slow one anymore.... And once I was in over my head, even though everything was going wrong, I was mentally calm and centered. I believe this in the moment calm kept me from doing things that would have made either of these situation worse... Especially hitting the brakes, which has always been my instinct.
So... where was I going with this. I guess the knowledge that my inferiority complex is pushing me to take risks that I ought not can lead to some better choices. And, the good news in all of this is that while I LOVE the xt.... we came home and the very next day, bought a faster bike. Now, I am not pushing my bike to it's very limit, it can go faster than my brain can, so I'm safe again!
